


Deer Friends and Colleagues

by Safraninflare



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Claude von Riegan is a Little Shit, Crossdressing, Gen, Golden Deer Shenanigans, Seteth's Desk Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:41:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24375952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Safraninflare/pseuds/Safraninflare
Summary: The Golden Deer House decides that Seteth's desk is the perfect place to have a mock lecture, dressed as the faculty of Garreg Mach, of course!Written for the Seteth Desk Challenge.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 53
Collections: Seteth's Desk Challenge





	Deer Friends and Colleagues

**Author's Note:**

> Art by Tinyshoopuf.tumblr.com 
> 
> Please go follow and support Nico. She's a fantastic friend and artist and I love her.

By the time of the Red Wolf Moon, everyone was pretty used to Claude’s schemes. While the future leader of the Alliance was known to make top marks in class, that didn’t mean that he didn’t let loose every so often. 

The Golden Deer were gathered in Seteth’s office, everyone praying to the Goddess that he wouldn’t come back early from his meeting with Lady Rhea. Everyone was dressed to the nines in various costumes, each depicting a member of the Garreg Mach faculty.

“Leonie, you were  _ supposed _ to be Alois!” Lysithea complained, adjusting the Professor’s cloak around her petite form. 

Leonie rolled her eyes, her hands white-knuckle gripping the edge of Seteth’s desk. “I wanted to be Jeralt!” 

“The Professor is already Jeralt. That’s her  _ dad _ .” Lysithea wrinkled her nose and looked to Hilda, hoping for some sort of backup.

“Well, we can just  _ both _ be Jeralt. Right, Marianne?” Leonie asked.

Marianne, who was dressed in Shamir’s spare outfit, hid her face in her hands. “Please. I don’t want to be a part of this.” 

Leonie opened her mouth again, only to be cut off by Claude entering the office, dressed in Manuela’s clothing. The chest area of the bodice, where Claude was usually lacking in the breast department, was skillfully filled with Morfis plums pilfered from the greenhouse. Byleth trailed behind him, a rare smile on her face. 

“Professor, look!” Raphael said as he threw a mop on top of his head. “I’m Thunder Catherine!” 

“I don’t see why  _ I _ was picked to be Hanneman,” Lorenz frowned. “I believe I could have been a very  _ noble _ Lady Rhea.” 

“Yeah, well. I’m Lady Rhea.” Hilda stuck out her tongue. “And if you don’t stop complaining, I’m banishing you to Abyss.” 

“Lorenz would have been a really ugly Lady Rhea anyway,” Lysithea whispered into Hilda’s ear, causing the older girl to burst into a fit of unrestrained giggles. 

Ignatz and Flayn sat behind the desk, Ignatz on the floor and Flayn in the desk chair. She had somehow managed to obtain a very good replica of her brother’s robes, lending her dress to Ignatz. 

“I should have brought my sketchbook,” Ignatz mumbled to himself, which garnered a small giggle from Flayn. 

“Oh, yes. A painting of this would be quite exquisite.” 

“Oh no,” Hilda snapped. “No paintings. That’s how you get caught!” 

“Speaking of getting caught, how’s Cyril doing as a lookout?” Leonie asked. She tried to get a glimpse of the boy from her spot in front of the desk, but the angle was all wrong. She’d just have to trust that he was actually doing his job, and not just polishing Lady Rhea’s silver again. 

“Wait, Cyril was supposed to be the lookout?” Hilda asked.

_ “Deer _ friends and colleagues,” Claude began, using a sultry-sounding voice to mimic Manuela’s. “Today we are gathered here for a lecture on Crestology, given by our own hunky Professor Hanneman.” 

“Just hope Manuela doesn’t find out you said that, or the next time you end up in the infirmary is going to be  _ really _ unpleasant,” Hilda added. 

Claude held back a smirk. “Professor Hanneman, would you like to begin?” 

Lorenz cleared his throat and made his way to the spot taken by Claude. He puffed out his chest in a very un-Hanneman way, and ran his hand through his hair.

All the color drained out of Hilda’s face. “Oh… I was supposed to ask Cyril to be the lookout…” 

“Wait, did you  _ forget?” _ Lysithea asked.

Before any of them could react to Hilda’s statement, they heard the sound of footsteps down the hallway. There was no way for them all to scramble out of the room without being caught, so they all froze in place.

“What is the meaning of this?” Seteth asked as he entered his own office, taking in the scene that the Golden Deer painted in front of him. “Flayn, you too?”

“I’m sorry, brother…” Ignatz said.

“No, Mr. Victor. Not—” Seteth ran a hand over his face. “Flayn.”

“She’s Seteth.” Leonie shrugged.

“And who are you supposed to be, Miss Pinelli?” Seteth asked. Clearly this was way above his pay grade. 

“I’m Jeralt.”

“Again, Leonie. The Professor is Jeralt,” Lysithea corrected.

“We’re both Jeralt!” 

“Mr. von Riegan, are those  _ Morphis plums _ in your top? Professor, did you condone this?” Seteth asked, even though the fact that Byleth was A) in the office with her class and B) dressed as Jeralt answered that question pretty clearly. 

“It’s a lesson on disguise,” Byleth stated in her normal flat tone. She chose to ignore the question about the plums. 

Seteth frowned. “And why could this not be done in  _ your _ classroom?” 

Well, he had them there. 

“Everyone out at  _ once!” _ Seteth shooed the Deer kids from his office, but stopped Byleth and Flayn from leaving with the herd. “Do not think that I will not be telling Lady Rhea about this.” 

Flayn leaned forward, picking something off of the floor, before returning to her standing position. “Brother, please don’t punish everyone. You need to learn to relax. Would you like a plum?”

Seteth looked down at the plum in her hand, which had quite obviously just been in Claude von Riegan’s dress. He let out a heavy sigh, and closed the door behind them. 

He definitely was  _ not _ paid enough for this.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed the art, please like or reblog it on tumblr. The link can be found here: https://tinyshoopuf.tumblr.com/post/619025459756384256/we-got-to-talking-about-what-a-sfw-interpretation


End file.
